My mom and dad liked to entertain. Mom was a great cook and dad was her right hand lieutenant in the kitchen. When I was little, I used to hate their dinner parties because I was very shy. So shy in fact that when their company arrived, I would hide under my mom's skirt.
To her credit she didn't shoo me away but gracefully maneuvered with that 'extra pair of legs' peeking out from under her shirtwaist dress, skittering along with her while she waltzed about the kitchen, cooking and chatting with friends. Under her skirt, I felt protected. I could hear the company but didn't have to interact. I was safe.
In an effort to get me out of my "safety zone", my parents gave me a book, Manners Can Be Fun by Munro Leaf. The book explained that since we don't live on desert islands, we meet people and when we meet someone we smile and shake their hand. Mom improvised the experience and actually took my hand and shook it. That's when I learned the Guthrie Handshake.
Here's the secret. Don't squeeze too hard but don't be a softy either. Look this stranger in the eyes, smile and grasp their hand firmly, and say how-do-you-do. For me, having this plan of action in mind when I met someone new made the process so much easier. Like following the directions on a box of Jello, as my dad would say.
Over the past year, I've found (via Google Analytics) a lot of folks who discovered this blog by searching on the words "Socially Challenged". I initially took that title as it explained my own feelings about these new media channels and the technology. But I wonder if I'm misleading this group of blog visitors (about 15%) and perhaps should provide content more targeted to the literal definition. On this point, the jury is still out. (What do you think?)
But I do know that the more I learn about this social media phenomena, the more I realize that whether you're shy about meeting new people in the flesh or you're timid about going online, it is really the same thing. Use the phone; write a letter; send an email; connect on Facebook or over lunch - it's not about technology at all. It's simply communicating and it's good old-fashioned two way communicating.
So start out by trying the Guthrie Handshake on the person sitting next to you. Then you can stay in touch with emails, make plans with them by phone, and join their LinkedIn network. Viola! You've started down the path of making friends. And to bolster your courage, here are some words read to me by my parents that Christopher Robin said to Winnie the Pooh, "Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." So what's to be nervous about? There is great comfort and power in being yourself.
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